Who are the Women who Made You?

I’m in coaching school now at The Redemption School with Rivka Malka Perlman.  I’m actually being a student and fully immersing myself in the experience (usually I’m an admin and background support).  The exercises that RMP leads us through are FASCINATING and powerful.  Today we learned about The Future Self, a tool to take someone into their future through the power of visualization and gain a lesson from who they see there.

Rivka Malka told us to close our eyes and visualize floating out of our chair through the trees and clouds into outer space, to notice the beautiful stars and the feeling of weightlessness.  My control freak brain was like, “HUH?! Notice the beautiful stars and be in the moment in outer space?  But how am I supposed to get back to EARTH?  Floating in outer space is dangerous!”  I laughed at myself when I noticed this.  Some people can be in the moment in a scary situation and notice the beauty and feel at peace and not worry about how to get out of it.  I chose to be like those people.  After all, it was pretend.  We’re only visualizing.

So I floated through outer space twenty years into the future.  (What kind of coaching school IS this, anyway?!  An awesome one!)  Then Rivka Malka instructs us to float back down to earth and find a door in front of us, knock on it, and enter to meet our Future Self.

Mine is sitting at a desk in polished glory in my dream farmhouse mansion.  I notice immediately that she’s a beautiful combination of the three most important women in my life – my 2 grandmas, and my mother.  I’m brought to tears of gratitude in that moment, with so much love and awe for the blessing I’ve had to have them, and with so much amazement that I’m such an awesome combination of them.

My Granny Jeffcoat, my father’s mother – chubby and huggable with a dirty apron from making homemade biscuits, in a rocking chair outside barefoot.  She’s country, she’s approachable, she’s spiritual, she’s all heart and soul.

My Grandma Viola, my mother’s mother – tall and regal in her pressed pastel skirt and matching blazer, table set with fine china, the ultimate hostess with grace, and charm, giving her all for her family, bringing us together with love and style.

My Mother – the joyful, happy, people person who makes everyone comfortable and always has a smile on her face and a nice word on her tongue.  She taught me the law of kindness.  She’s business and organization and leadership and Excel documents and productivity and a master plan, all with a cute bounce in her step.

I am these women.  I am not a conflict, as I sometimes confuse myself with thinking.  I am a combination.  In my Future Self, I see it more clearly, because I’m older and even more like them.  I am so lucky to be like them.  I relish in this Love for a while, then I take some advice from my Future Self, then I leave her to go into a practice coaching session with my partner.

In our coaching session, we write personal 10 Commandments from our Future Self.  I’d like to share mine with you.

Rina’s 10 Commandments for An Awesome Life:

  1.   Believe the Best.
  2.   Feel how thankful you are.
  3.   Build a team you trust.
  4.   Believe in your Sons!
  5.   Stay true to your vision.
  6.   Don’t give up.
  7.   Relax a little.
  8.   Laugh a lot.
  9.   Squeeze the wisdom and love out of your mother.
  10.   Remember where you came from.

I love questions; I always have.  I used to terrorize my siblings by asking Why? Why? Why? way too much. There were never enough answers.  I was annoyingly curious.  I’m going to put that into my blog now.  Coaching school is all about questions; journalism is all about questions; and my love for them has been reawakened!

So here we go… some questions for you…  I invite you to journal them privately or message me your answers!

  • Who are the women who made you who you are?
  • What did they give you?
  • What did you learn from your mother?  Your grandmother?
  • What can you still learn from her?
  • If your mother wasn’t a positive role model, who filled that space?  If it is still empty, who can fill it?
  • What commandments do you live by?

I’m hesitating to say this, but this is the NEW blog by Rina with no limits, so I’ll just say it – if you’d like a session to see your Future Self and learn from her, message me!!  I’m a new coach, but what I learned about coaching that gives me so much confidence and energy is that the coach doesn’t have to have all the answers! The coach just has to have the tools to facilitate the client’s process.  You can learn more about Rivka Malka’s coaching school here – The Redemption School.

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