I came to the synagogue with anything but emuna. I came with nerves about how we were paying for the speaker Rabbi Brody’s team. I came with nerves that no one would show up. I came with nerves over who would say what when and where the podium would look best and whether the men and women should sit together or apart. Okay fine, I came with a lot of ego, like any of those things I had any control over.
I also came with frayed personal edges, fresh from two days of inner child healing and intuitive body work with a Redemption healer. I came to the synagogue with 4 years of bitter circumstances (maybe more), and 37 years of life baggage.
I also came with love and trust for Rabbi Shalom Arush, author of The Garden of Emuna, and his English translator and tzadek (righteous person) in his own right, Rabbi Lazer Brody, the holy men I met in Los Angeles months ago. I sat listening to them then, Rav Arush on a stage speaking in Hebrew with a constant smile in his voice and dance in his step and Rav Brody speaking his soothing English in a translation device in my ear. I sat listening to Hashem. Saying: This is all good, Rina. This is all from Me. You don’t understand, you don’t like it, you’re not getting what you want, but this is all from Me. I AM. And I love you.
What would He say tonight in my hometown?
I’m going to summarize Rabbi Brody’s lecture now, as if it were coming from Hashem. Give me lots of grace and creative freedom here; you know, I’m not actually Hashem. Ha. Right, you know that. Here “He” goes –
We made a deal before you were born, Rina. (And everyone listening.) We made a deal that you would be in the final generation before Moshiach. We made a very difficult deal. You wanted to get this over with already, to fix your soul, finally, completely, so that Moshiach could come. You wanted to stop coming back and trying again. You wanted the Final Redemption. You all wanted that.
And I said “It will be hard for you. It will require bitter, bitter trials. That’s the only way to get where you want to get fast.”
And you said, “Okay, Hashem, I’ll take it. I’ll take anything, I’ll do anything to see peace restored to this earth, to see the Temple standing in its glory again, to see Your King rule. Whatever it takes.”
And then you were born, and you forgot our deal. (You agreed to forgetting too. Being awakened to the truth of this deal would be a beautiful, holy surprise.) So now, I’m reminding you, through these holy men Rabbi Arush and Rabbi Brody, I’m letting you remember.
I could have given you a sugar life. I could have given you nothing but chocolate. But Moshiach does not come from chocolate. On chocolate, you get fat and bloated and complacent and dead. You know this Rina, you know it well, because I gave you this personal struggle to teach you. You know how much you love chocolate and how much it kills you.
I gave you a lemon water life for now. Bitter lemons, so sour, yet so healing. Warm lemon water in the morning resets your body, heals your inflammation, puts out your Fires. It’s not yummy, it’s actually only barely tolerable, until you choose to like it for the sake of your health.
When you realize that these bitter circumstances are part of our deal, are part of healing your deepest wounds and correcting your biggest flaws, are part of bringing Moshiach and building the Place of your dreams, you will drink them down with Love.
I’m inviting you to accept the bitter again, Rina. I’m inviting you to realize you’ve been in Boot Camp of the Soul, not just for yourself, but for your children and future generations. Boot Camp is hard. You have to jump out of planes into oceans and swim for miles with no life jacket. But Boot Camp makes you a Marine. Boot Camp, like lemon water, makes you healthy, strong and victorious. I see you, daughter, I see you swimming and I’m cheering.
Here’s all you need to do. Four steps to miracles and salvations. Four steps to joy.
1. Ein Od Milvado. I am G-d, there is no other. All of this is from me. All of this passed through my eyes before it came to you. I can stop it in an instant or give you more. I think you are starting to believe this, Rina.
2. I love you. I really really do, and this part, I wish you believed already, because I have shown you so many times. Don’t worry though, you will know it before this is all done.
3. This bitterness is your Path to Greatness. You’re becoming a Marine. I know you’ve never been interested in greatness and for sure not the military kind, but it’s coming anyway. Because we made a deal. I know you can feel it.
4. Thank me. Thank me every day. Thank me for 30 days. Thank me! I am here, I love you, it’s all for you, it’s for your greatness. Thank me! There were four things to do in this list, but really this is the only 1. The first three, believe, think about, remember, repeat. The fourth, do. Thank me! When you can do this, your Redemption has come.
That’s what Rabbi Brody said. Then I stood in a line and he gave me a blessing and I went home crying my thanks.
And then I did what any normal person does after hearing a message like that, and getting a blessing like that, and crying and praying like that – I checked Facebook. My friend’s status, may or may not mean anything, but I smiled about it hoping for it. She said, “And just like that… the storm has passed.”
Love and growing Emuna,
PS – I know this message was just for me, because how many times have I mentioned lemon water over the past months of blogs? Specifically this one where I listed it as a Healthy Self-Indulgence.