We deny ourselves the pleasure of desiring. Because it’s selfish or indulgent or not practical or not possible. At least I did. But I’m done with that. Wink.
Hashem gives us wants and I believe leads us with wants. Does He give us every little thing we want? Thank G-d, no. There is a bigger, better plan.
But I want to value myself and know myself, and that means asking myself what I want. So here are some…
I want to make money with a blog.
I want to travel a lot.
I want to be part of the community in an active way.
I want to finish and publish the book.
I want my kids in school.
I want to live on a farm.
I want my kids to garden.
I want to be in Israel. As much as possible.
I want a hot, lovable husband.
I want a big gorgeous kitchen with 2 dishwashers.
I want a pink tree in my yard.
I want a deck and a trampoline.
I maybe even want a pool.
I want a nanny or mother’s helper or travel-along tutor.
I want to grill out with friends and family.
I want to visit family more.
I want to host meals.
I want financial abundance and comfort.
I want a new shorter sheital.
I want to be a tour guide. In Israel. As much as possible.
I want to sing pretty harmony.
I want to play piano well by ear and with chords.
I want to hear Moshav Band live.
I want to take a sculpting clay class.
I want to paint pottery with the boys.
I want a natural alexandrite ring.
I want to go on boats a lot.
I want to learn more about wine.
I want to try different wines.
I want fresh flowers on the table.
I want to pick dandelions and other wild herbs and make teas and tonics.
I want to ferment things.
I want to drink my weight in lemon water a day. (That’s a lot of !@#% lemon water! haha)
I want to exercise. Eck. Do I really?
I want the benefits of exercise without the work. That’s honest.
I want to feel good about my body.
I want cute clothes.
I want to feel relaxed and in the moment, not on guard.
I want to make the kids eat better, to make better food for them.
I want traditions for my family – like Sugar Coke on Pesach. (I am such a contradiction.)
I want to get more sleep.
I want to find a sleep schedule that works for me.
I want mellow, Mediterranean music in my home.
I want to do more, learn more about essential oils.
I want punching bags for the boys.
I want a boy-fort clubhouse for them.
I want to throw all the toys away in the playroom. Or at least half.
I want to be consistent, firm, emotionless with X.
I want a turtle.
I want less screen-time.
I want to replace coffee and seltzer with drinks that benefit my body.
I want to go to Lakewood and visit M.
I want a new comforter.
I want to get my bike fixed.
I want to take the boys on more day-trips and new outings.
I want my own bathtub.
I want to visit B in Texas.
I want to go to Morocco.
And Greece. And New Zealand. And Spain. And Brazil. And Bali. And South Africa.
And Israel. As much as possible.
I want a new Shabbos robe.
I want to speak to women.
I want an RV, and maybe to rent it out.
I want a Volkswagon microbus. In aqua. With curtains inside.
I want a basement tenant.
I want more women help/support/companionship in my home. You are invited!
I want a regular cleaning lady!!!
I want an Amazon bestseller.
I want a regular bestseller.
(Give Rina a blog for a month and she thinks she can write a bestseller. Nasty Voice.)
I want to interview my dad.
I want to take my boys to a real racetrack. NASCAR.
I want to learn from more Jewish sources.
I want a Partner in Torah.
I want to daven more formally.
I want to sit in bed all day and write dreamy blog posts, but that’s one Hashem won’t let me have right now, because it’s time to get ready for the 2nd days of Yom Tov!